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16.9.14

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I know I haven’t been blogging for the longest time.
It’s due to my crazy schedule between school (I'm taking a degree in Sports Science)
&training some of the girls.
:<
&&& I actually did a tie up with a company to start-up a brand new blog
but as you can see that didn’t work out well…
You must be wondering why I would wanna do that
since I’m managing well on my own.
Its cause I wanted to be able to update my blog more regularly with good quality information &videos to share with y’all.
Like I mentioned,
I barely have time on my hands to blog,
much less record & edit videos.
Not only that,
I will also be able to hold bootcamps for y’all
(THIS IS ONE OF MY DREAMS!!!)
since the company will be able to organize for me and stuff.
Well,
I’m not one who works well with empty promises so I decided to be on my own instead.
Heh
&I guess I can be pretty straight-forward cause I don't see the point in sugar coating so I'm sorry if whatever I share may have offended you in any way.


I guess life has its way of throwing new obstacles along your way
Or bringing you miracles that you’d never thought is possible.
I have never expected my Instagram to be where it is today.
I would never dare dream of fame
/getting sponsored
/getting the recognition.
It still amazes me at time
&I guess a part of me will never ever get used to this.
Don’t get me wrong,
I’m not super famous or anything :/
But it’s enough to make a huge impact in my life (both negatively and positively).
Being in the limelight has never been my thing.
I’m really just another ordinary girl,
I don’t have flawless skin,
Extraordinary looks,
Amazing character with good humour,
Killer bod/
Charisma.
I guess you can say that I didn’t have much confidence at first (maybe not even that much right now >.< )
&I really wouldn’t even start blogging if it were not for Instagram
&having a better platform to share information with y’all.
Heheh yes,
Imma pretty awkward…
So how exactly did Instagram change my life/ my perspectives ?

1.    Being judged
I guess everyone judges subconsciously.
Some share whatever opinions they have on the net
& Sometimes it can get pretty scary
cause they totally don’t care (don't know) how words can really sting.
I guess I’m pretty much immune to “ugly words” thrown at me
You can call me ugly (doesn’t affect me cause I know I’m not where I’m today due to looks),
Fat (yes, people still calls me fat on IG),
Ugly face/ body
Or any kinda harmful words
&it wouldn’t have the slightest bit of impact on me
cause like I mentioned earlier, 
I know I'm not extraordinary or anything. 
hah
Plus, I get these insults all the time.

I have also came to realize how superficial the world can be.
Most people just look at the surface of things
&straight away make judgments from there.
&the one thing that they usually look at is looks/appearance 
(after all, it's the first time you see).
There are 101 different kinda body types
&Faces.
Each is beautiful and unique in its own way.
Different people have different images of what the “perfect body” / “perfect face” should be.
Just because you may not have the same view as the other does not make him/her any less worthy in any way.
 I know some thinks that I’m huge, bulky, manly, and not hot at all.
Well,
It is MY body.
Worry bout your own body instead.
Hahaha
I actually feel that I have pretty low muscle mass...




2.    Should I really treat others how they treat me?
Here’s something that I’m still trying to get my head around.
I’m sure everyone has a few rules/ values that they live by
&I used to think it’s perfectly fine to treat others how they treat me.
I always have this habit of feeling guilty or really mean whenever I reply negative comments/insults with sarcasm.
:/
Like I will put myself in the other’s shoes
&feel the embarrassment that I have brought upon him/her from my comments…
&I will share this guilt with Josh.
He will say it’s cause you’ve already “let it out”,
The thing is it is never a tic for tac game
Or else it will never end.
&maybe the right thing to do is to suck it up,
let them say what they want.
Don’t let your ego get the better of you.
In the long run,
It WILL make you a better person.

That got me thinking quite a fair bit
&much as I don’t wanna admit it,
he’s right
but being nice can be the hardest thing on Earth especially when someone is throwing insults at you/ behind your back.
Hahha
So,
I’m working on that bit right now& at the same time,
Learning to control my temper…
It’s getting better though! HOHOHO
Sometimes I will think bout to how hot headed I was
&I will be shocked by my own actions.
How hot headed was I?
I was at Sentosa w my friends a few years back& it happened to be a public holiday.
Then,
groups of foreign workers started snapping pictures of us openly…
I got so mad & something in me just kinda snapped…
So,
I ran after a group of them & hit them with my slippers
(LOL what was I thinking?!?),
Snatching one of their mobile phones,
I threatened to throw it in the sea.
Luckily,
My friend managed to catch up with me
&stop me from doing things that I will regret.
She scrolled through their phones
&saw tons of pictures of random girls at the beach.
-.-
Well,
Thankfully the lifeguard came
&took control of the situation.
hahaha
I still can’t believe that I actually did that…
Fret not though,
I’m much more cool-headed now
(I hope).

3.    To not let fame to get my head.
The first few questions that people will usually ask me would be:
How did you managed to do it?
How did you get sponsored?
How did you get so many followers?

&&&I gotta admit that it is pretty easy to lose yourself,
to keep climbing to the top,
to gain more recognition.
I guess you just gotta keep reminding yourself
never to let the number of likes/ followers define you
or your self-worth.
To put it bluntly,
it is just a social media app.

J

4.    Having great support from people who barely even knows me.
It is always good to focus on the good instead of the bad yes?
One of the things that kept me going 
was all the amazing support that has been given to me from y'all.
Like I mentioned earlier, 
I'm still not used to this.
hahah
&it really touches my heart how much support I am actually getting from people who hardly even knows me.
Such comments, post and emails really has a huge impact on me
&it's things like these that I will never forget

Hillary


&&& being told that I helped inspiring some of y'all when we bumped into each other on the streets/ at events. 






NEVER fail to warm my heart :}

5.    When it comes to friends, quality/quantity

I've been through probably most of it, 
backstabbing, name callings, two-faced, getting "ganged up" against and what-nots. 
I've got enough of people living my life. 
To put it as nicely as possible, 
I'm truly contented with the number of close friends I have right now. 
Yes, it may be lesser than 10 (I'm not even kidding) but its all that I need. 
One of the most painful event that happened to me was having my closest friend talk behind my back when I started getting more followers on ig. 
y'all should have probably figured that I'm a pretty private person 
so I won't go into the details. 
After all, 
it's all in the past now.

&Much as I hate to admit it, 
I'm pretty uptight when it comes to making new friends.
I experienced people talking to me just so they can benefit from our friendship...
I will automatically go into a wary mode. 
That being said, 
I'm not unfriendly or anything. 
heh 
Just that now its really hard for me to develop into a friendship that's more than a hi-bye one
with people I just met or have met more than 10 times. 
Josh would know how hard it is :p 


6.    To always be thankful& contented with whatever I have.


 & if you're still wondering how I managed to get to where I am today,
I really don't have the slightest clue either. 
:/
Guess lady luck's on my side or something.
HAHAH
It just happened I guess?
Not that it was a miracle that happened overnight or anything. 
I just started getting more and more recognition overtime. 
Who would had knew I did be where I am today when I started lifting properly 1 and a half years ago?
Its crazy huh?
I couldn't ask for more really. 
All the support that I have been getting from my family, my friends &Josh.
The sponsorships, the encouragement, the opportunities. 
I know its easier to wish for more, 
who doesn't want a better life than they are already having?
Instead of focusing on what I don't have, 
I've learnt to take some time off from whatever I'm doing to count what I HAVE 
& to be thankful for them.

Remember earlier on where I talked bout wanting to do a boot camp?
Well, 
I'm now a Nike Training Club (NTC) Trainer 
where I get to train with different groups of girls!



Funny how everything turned out in the end huh?

If things seem to be a lil on the rocky side now, 
just hang it there, 
it can't be bad all the time.

J

&thank J, for being my pillar of strength, for encouraging me,
reasoning things out with me, helping me to be a better person
&&& for being you.



[He was complaining bout how they didn't give him enough butter -.- ]


♥♥♥
P.S. I promise to update my blog when my finals end!